One of my "roots"

One of my roots of insecurity is change. Beth says "most women find a tremendous amount of security in sameness" And I say. YES! I know I've talked about this before but it's such a big one for me. Dramatic change doesn't always have to be bad like losing a job or a loved one. It can just be a simple change of a house, job, friend, etc. She said if we are enough control freaks we may be able to keep some things the same but "to be sure, we don't just old on to them; we strangle them half to death!" I laughed out loud when I read this part... I can totally relate.

One of my biggest insecurities came out in the first few months of our marriage. I had left my job, friends, home, and live in another town to marry the man of my dreams! It was wonderful. Only I would be in bed each night thinking... "he doesn't love me" or "this is awful and it's going to get more awful" And the tears would roll. Now please don't think it was because of anything my hubby did! He was and is an amazing man and husband and I'm so blessed to have him in my life. This whole thing was because of me and my insecurities! (and a whole other host of things that comes with marriage and communication and living with a boy!) What I was doing was grieving the loss of what I had and then pouring that into him. I was expecting him to be my "everything" For those of you who have read this... and for many others who already know... men cannot and will never be our "everything". So when I wasn't getting my entertainment, exercise, talk time, friend time, etc... from him, I immediately let my thoughts jump to how it was my fault and how if only I was ..... fill in the blank.

Time and lots of good conversation healed that for me and for us but I would have never thought a wonderful change like marriage would have brought out so many insecurities in me.

Are you with me ladies? Have you had this happen in your life- change for the good or bad that has rocked your world and filled you with insecurity? I'm so so glad He used the wonderful change of marriage to continue to mold me into what He wants me to be! I'm going to leave you with Beth's and God's words because they say it all!

"The truth is God uses change to change us . He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny. I hate to display such a firm grasp of the obvious but how will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are?

"Don't be misled my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation became his prized possessions" James 1:16-18 NLT