God Heals!

I have a pretty basic testimony: I was raised in the church, by two parents who were very involved in church, and great witnesses to me on what it looked like to live for Christ. Nothing super terrible has happened to me in my life, and for the most part I have consistently lived seeking God.

Although, a few times, my heart has been broken.

In the past 6 months, I have had a lot of transitions. A few of these have been painful for my family, close friends, and especially for me. One in particular has left my heart shattered. I am sorry that I am being slightly vague, I am trying very hard to be respectful of the situation.

I have tried to forgive and move on...I don't believe one can completely forget certain pains, and I don't think God wants us to. He brings us through certain things to be taught something, and forgetting the darkness He has rescued me from, could lead to me forgetting the lesson I have learned. One of my favorite Christian groups is Point of Grace, they sing a song called Heal The Wounds. It is a song asking God to heal the wounds of our hearts but leave a scar so we can remember the mercy and grace He has shown to us.

Psalm 147:3,5 says

He heals the brokenhearted

And binds up their wounds...Great is our Lord,

and mighty in power.

I know that God is bigger than my current sorrows, I know that He sees something in me that I can't even begin to comprehend, and I know that He will heal my heart. But the difficult truth in this is that I have to be willing to give Him all the pieces of my broken heart. But I don't want to, my human heart and mind wants to hold on to the pain. I want to feel justice on earth for what I have gone through. It seems ridiculous to me right now that I would say that but it's true. I am not done complaining about how terrible the situation was for me, I am still wanting to live in victim mentality.

The truth I am facing in this day is that God may never give me that moment of earthly validation, but what He can offer me is so much better. FREEDOM, from the pain, hurt, and negativity that has surrounded me.

Great Lord,

Would you heal me, please? I love you!

Ahmen