I thought I was good at letting go of things..... until last week rolled in. It was a tiring week, a stressful week, a frustrating week, a week with conflict...... I hate conflict!! I had a million thoughts running around in my head. I had too many "to do's" on my list. Something had to give. Do you know the feeling? I had to prioritize my commitments. I needed to let go of one of them. I knew which one. But it is going to be hard....relinquishing control of a beloved church project, something I poured my heart and time into for years. But it is time.....
How do you know when you are overprogrammed? Here were some clues God gave me last week:
1. I hadn't washed my hair in three days.
2. I misplaced my favorite earrings Jason gave me right before we got engaged. ( I still can't find them.)
3. I snapped at my kids and my husband a lot.
4. I wrote a testy email to a new staff member at church I had just met.
5. I had three weeks of Survivor to watch on DVR.
6. Most importantly, my quiet time with the Lord was seriously sparse.
Number 6 is the one that finally got my attention. I was on the phone and at my computer more than I was talking to God.
So, I took a walk and during this walk, I worked it out with God. David Crowder Band helped me too.... Have you ever listened to the song "Foreverandever"? There is a part in the song that says "Letting Go gives a better grip." BINGO! Whether it's letting go of a church commitment, or letting go of a grudge, or of our past mistakes, God wants us to look forward and up to Him, not back on what could have been or should have been.
For me, this week was about letting go ---giving up control. Letting God take the lead and do the work. He will not lead me down the wrong path. Sometimes we have to stop and be still and listen for His nudge in a certain direction.
It is not going to be easy to let go. I will have to fight the urge to jump in again. To place blame when things go wrong. But God will provide me peace and direction for where He wants my efforts to be focused. I simply have to trust in Him.
"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4