Sunday, September 27, 2009

Believing God

I love when my kids speak God's truths, even if they don't know it. Tonight when I did devotion time with Caroline, we talked about Abram and his journey to Canaan. We talked about how we obey God and try to be faithful, even if it is scary or new to us or doesn't make sense. As I tucked her under the covers, she said, "Mommy, I can't feel Jesus' feet next to mine under the covers. I can't even see him. But I believe that he is there." Wow. My little girl, without even knowing it, spoke words that my heart needed to hear at that moment. I love it when God chooses our children as vessels to speak through.

Do you all ever feel like God is at a distance? Today I felt that way. I don't know why. I have a great Bible study I am doing, I heard a good message at church, and I am spending time in prayer. Why do we go through times where we don't feel God's presence as much as we do other times? For one, I think He wants me to seek and find Him in different ways, whether it is the beautiful sunrise I saw the other morning, or through the smile of a friend, or the words of a child. Simple things. Subtle things. A whisper instead of a shout. I believe He is with me, surrounding me with his love, even if it is a brush of a breeze instead of a hurricane.

I also believe that He wants me to be faithful and patient (patience is not one of my strengths). Even if I am not seeing the harvest of my sowing doesn't mean that God is not working in my world. Even if I am not seeing prayers answered doesn't mean that God has not heard them. Hebrews 6:12 tells us to "imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised". And God promises us so much if we believe Him. He promises that he loves us, that He will always be with us, and we will be united with Him someday in heaven for a life eternal.

I have to end with something I learned from Beth Moore's Bible Study "Believing God". Even though I did this several years ago, I still say these truths to remind me of God's promises.

1. God is who He says He is.
2. God can do what He says He can do.
3. I am who God says I am.
4. I can do all things through Christ
5. God's word is alive and active in me.

I'm Believing God!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

when satan attacks

What a week! It was a full week: school with a student teacher, 5th grade basketball, 7th grade girls Bible study, meetings, women's Bible study, more meetings, curriculum planning (this was all by Thursday morning). I missed highschool small groups too! I should know by know that weeks like this are when satan tends to attack me. I was physically and emotionally exhausted.

Thursday was a rough day. Everything caught up to me from the first 3 days of the week. All I wanted was someone to come home to and talk to, so the whole "I hate being single" thing overwhelmed me. That night, I cried. I'm not talking the weepy tears. I mean facedown on the floor, tears pouring from my eyes, snot running out of my nose, couldn't breathe, crying to Jesus. I had text a friend just to ask for prayer and she said, "jesus will meet you in it. just rest there for a sec." Well, it took me an hour and a half to get to a point where I could rest in Jesus.

Then, I opened my Bible study (Stepping Up by Beth Moore). I realized I had let satan get a grip on me emotionally and spiritually. The Psalm I was about to study said this, "And the Lord surrounds his people, both now and forever" (Psalm 125:2). The study of this Psalm kept driving this verse home with me. God surrounds me. When satan attacks, God is surrounding me. God absorbs the brunt of it and what hits me will help me to grow. Beth said, "nothing can close in on [me] without closing in on Him first."

I would not have caught that statement if I hadn't spent the previous almost 2 hours on my face crying to Jesus. When satan attacks, we must call on Jesus for 2 important reasons. First, Psalm 121 tells us that "our help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." If I am not going to Jesus for help then I am not going for the right help. Jesus is the only thing that can overpower satan....satan cowers under the name of Jesus. Second, we need to recognize that Jesus is surrounding us. That he will provide a way out when we call on Him.

I'm not perfect at this by any means. However, God opened my eyes a little more to who he is and what he WILL do for me. I ask you this, when satan attacks you where does your help come from? Do you try to fix it on your own? Do you take the problem to a friend? Or, do you let the maker of heaven and earth, the Lord who surrounds you, rescue you from the grip of satan?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

God calls some of us to Henderson...

A couple years ago we had a class at church to find out what your spiritual gifts were. We also talked about our passions. I found out then that my passion was women and children, especially in missions. It was then that I decided that someday I'd like to take a group of just women on a mission trip. I asked a couple ladies that had gone on the family mission trips if they might be interested in an all female group and I think we had 6 or 8 at the first meeting. That was 3 years ago and it has been such an awesome opportunity to serve.

In the early spring, I start getting excited for the next trip. I usually try to encourage many different women to think about going along with us, knowing that God will organize our group in due time. As women, it is sometimes hard for us to plan the time to be away for a week when our families especially need us at home. I think everyone ought to want to come but realize that it isn't for everyone. I think of some kind of theme for the week which mostly helps with planning the devotions. I like to have different things each day that go along with the theme and I like to make alot of them surprises even tho everyone soon figures out or knows from the beginning who is doing it. I hope it makes it more fun but also gives us some extra things to think about.

We have always gone to Henderson Settlement in the southeast corner of Kentucky. We have the opportunity to do the usual construction job which is one way for some women to serve and in the four years that we have been going we have done lots of neat jobs that some people can't believe that women want to do. I think that is one of the cool things about only ladies going in our group. A few ladies that usually have to follow the men get to be incharge. The first year we went, the men in the other groups wondered if we could do anything and each year we surprise them by accomplishing our goal. I myself am a go-fer and the photographer at the jobsite. I'm also 'the porch sitter' which every group needs. The porch sitter is the person that will sit with the family members to visit and watch while the others work and occasionally run and get something or pick up a paintbrush for a little while. It is a very important job.

At Henderson, they know now that we can do what we set out to do and do a fine job of it!! We have the last two years worked along side one of the groups we have become good friends with from Charlevoix, MI , even a few men. Mike, their electrician, ran the electricity in the rooms we were working in both years. This year we even worked at the same jobsite. It was really cool - we thought it was one of our 'God moments' for this year. There was an outside and an inside job to finish off a room addition. The MI group had chosen the outside job but had too many people, they also did not have enough money to take on the inside job. Well, we went down without a job chosen because we only had four ladies that were planning to work construction and all the jobs required more than that. We had money, tho. So as it turned out - this is the cool part - when we put our money and our people together it was the exact amount of both needed to finish the job for Willard and his family. It seems kinda minor maybe but we thought it meant we were supposed to work together. The four ladies from our group and the four ladies from the MI group worked together on the insulation, inside and then the siding and skirting, outside.

We also started setting up a beauty shop, 'Frakes Frills', as we call it, since the second year which has turned out to be another awesome way to serve. I think it has surprised everyone at how successful it has become. The first year we were only going to have it for one day but it was so well received it went two days then the last two years, we have done it all four work days. Last year we served almost 100 people and this year we served 165. That is unbelievable to me!!! We take for granted the opportunity we have to go to the beauty shop whenever we need to. Many of the women have a family member or good friend cut their hair and feel very pampered coming to get a hair cut, a manicure, their eyebrows waxed, and a goodie bag of shampoo, lotion, and soap at Frakes Frills. (all of which was donated by many of you!!)

As I reread this, it tells all we do but it just doesn't begin to convey the feelings you get from being there and helping wherever you can. The poverty level is so low, even the ones working are desperate. The Settlement helps people in so many ways and you get so much from being there to help, even if you are only insulating a small room addition or doing a manicure. While we are there, God has time to work on our heart and I believe you come away blessed more than you are able to give. I believe God calls us to go out in the 'world' and for some of us that means Henderson. It has become very special to me and I believe a few of the ladies that have gone with us now several times. We have made some good friends there and love many of the people we work along side of and now, the ones we have served as they return to the beauty shop every time. I wonder if someday you'll get to meet some of those people...if God puts it on your heart to go along. If not Henderson, find the place that God calls you to serve and you will be blessed beyond measure. Amen.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Alvin Simon Theodore

I used to love chipmunks.  The cute little songs, the cartoons, the little furry creatures scurrying around collecting acorns.  Cute little things.  

I loved them until they invaded my house.  They are in our siding wrecking havoc.  Not nice.  Thus began the attempt to de-rid out house of chipmunks.  If you are an animal lover, you may want to stop reading.  :)

One chipmunk down and 2 more to go...  Last Saturday my husband was gone for the day and I was rushing out to get G into the car to head to a meeting.  I have her in and I hear it.  The noise.  The "I'm caught on a glue trap and panicking" noise.  So what do I do???  I started crying!  I called dear hubby who couldn't come home to "take care of it".  He said to leave it.  The idea of leaving it to suffer was awful!  I told him I would take care of it (thinking- I'm doing this for our house, for the family, I CAN do it!) - should have known right then that leaving him was probably a MUCH BETTER IDEA.

SO...  I'm about hyperventilating , filling up a bucket of water in the house.  I go out there and I get it...  and well... you know.  Right?  What do you do with a bucket of water and an little rodent like creature ( I know, I know, it is a cute little chipmunk!!! I know!!!)?  So I do that.  But here's the thing.  He was stuck by only his back feet.  And the glue trap flipped upside down when it went it so he was sitting on it, wet, mad, panicked, but sitting on it like a boat! 

Around this time the moaning and talking out loud started for me.  Oh girls, if you could have been there!  Seriously, if you could have been I wouldn't have done it alone, or I would have been talked out of doing SUCH A DUMB THING!!!!!

So.. I get broom handle to push it down.  Great job Shan you filled it JUST enough so that the thing was under water ALL BUT HIS NOSE!  There he was breathing, and being water boarded.  Nice.  

Ok, so now I'm about having a heart attack.  oh wait, it gets better. I run into the garage, grab a gallon of DRINKING WATER and start to pour it into the bucket. Just then the little thing gets free of the "best ever, proffessional grade, most sticky glue traps out there" trap and JUMPS OUT OF THE BUCKET ONTO ME!  Commence complete screaming jumping around panic.  And that's from me, not him.  He is wet, tortured, and mad. He looks at me for a sec, then runs into his hole in the ground.

So I don't have any great moral or scripture, or lesson to tie into this..... just wanted to share with you a story of my life.  Hope it made you smile.  If it didn't then maybe telling you that yesterday Kristi and I were walking down a road with G in the stroller and got CHASED by a turkey will do it.  Seriously.  Chased.  Like running full speed ahead with a stroller chased.  


Monday, September 21, 2009

A Happy/Sad Day for Mommy

My baby girl is five years old today.... a whole hand's worth of years I have had with her. I can hardly believe that this is her last year of preschool and off to kindergarten she will go. As a mom, a part of me mourns the death of this part of my life. You know, the baby part. The taking care of their every need and being home with them all day and sharing every meal together and wiping bottoms and mouths ... just the dependence they have on you as their mother. I am sure many of you can relate to these feelings I am starting to have. No longer do I have any toddlers or babies in the house! My daughter tells me, "I can do it!" more than she says, "Will you help me?" A part of me is mourning, for sure.......

Why? Not only do I miss those days with my babies, but I now have to start redefining my role as a mother. A mother of a 8 year old and a 5 year old. A mother whose kids will be in school all day. What am I going to do? What does God want me to do? That is the question I am asking myself today. Are any of you in a spot in your life where your role is changing? Your purpose is no longer exactly what it used to be?

This change could definitely bog me down if not for one person. That person is Jesus. He KNOWS exactly what he has in store for me in the next few years. I am so excited to find out what that is. How, do you ask, will I know? Well, I believe if I stay focused on Him, stay in His word, and keep my eyes and heart open to doors he is opening for me, it will be made clear. That is my prayer to Him. He created me with a purpose for all parts of my life. I will still be a mother to my children. They may need me less in ways, but need me even more in others. I will wait with hope and expectancy .........and continuing serving Him, the author and creator of life.... my life, my kids' lives, your life.....How amazing.....

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Sunday, September 20, 2009


This was a tough week. I don't want to go into the details. The sad part though is that when I think back over each day, Monday-Sunday, there were maybe 2 or 3 things that made it a blah week.

Do you ever have those times when the bad seems to exceedingly out-weigh the good/great? That is how this week was. I found that those 2 or 3 things were so intense that they have completely defined the week I had.

That's really all I have so share. It was just one of those weeks. Overall.

But, for the first time after a week like that, I went to God with it. I am trying to give it over to him. Trust that he will take the crap and allow my eyes to see all that was good in my week. So, I'm off to do just that.....spend some time with Him. Facedown.

Friday, September 18, 2009

The grass is always greener...

There is something about cliche statements that I love. First, I love the fact that people feel the need to say, "Oh, this is so cliche." Has this phrase has now become cliche, is that possible...well I don't know but it's ironic and also really has nothing to do with my post.

What I do know? The phrase, "The grass is always greener on the other side" is cliche.

My friend listed a devotion on jealousy through her facebook account this week and it spoke volumes to me. It went something like this...

If you are anything like me, you have struggles with envy for others.

"My house looks great until a friend redecorates. Her clever color combination and crafty restoration abilities have created rooms that look as though they've stepped straight from a magazine. Suddenly my home feels outdated and plain.

My kids seem great until I'm around someone else's who excel in areas my kids struggle in. I see her kids quietly reading books that are well advanced for their age and loving every minute of it. I compare that to mine who would rather have their right arm cut off than to read books that are barely grade level all the while asking me when they can go do something else more exciting. Suddenly I judge myself for not making reading more of a priority when they were younger and feel like a sub-par mom.

Suddenly all that I'm blessed with pales in the face of comparison. I'm blinded from seeing what I do have in the face of what I don't have. My heart is drawn into a place of ungratefulness and assumption. As I assume everything is great for those that possess what I don't, I become less and less thankful for what's mine."

WOW! What a slap in the face for me as I have been struggling with certain jealousy issues for a while. As I was growing up I had a life plan....that included marriage and a baby by this age.
And I don't have that...

There are days that I am so envious of my friends who are married with kids.
There are days I think I would give up everything I have to get that.

However the statement, "I am not equipped to handle what they have, both good and bad" struck me right between the eyes while reading this devotion.

What an incredible statement!? And just a great reminder that I see and am jealous of the positive aspects of my friends lives. What I don't envy is the negative things. Now this is not to say that all good things result in bad - I totally don't see it like that.

But marriage and kids, let's face it, that takes work...
work that someday I will be more than happy to do...
right now, I get to work on me.

I needed this devotion this week to focus my eyes on what I do have and to remind myself that God has purposely created me for a particular life. One that is focused on Him and the rewards and blessings He is more than ready to give me. I thank God that He knows what I am equipped to handle, the good and the bad. And that He will guide me through this life on earth with those things in mind.

Now, I am thankful to be where I am at this point. I am grateful that God has made me into a successful single Christian woman: one who is working towards a debt free life, has beautiful room mates, wonderful pets, amazing families, incredible friendships, one awesomely hot God-fearing man, and a heart that is chasing after my creator.

I can see that my grass is just as green as all the yards around me...I just needed reminded.

Thanks, I hope that my life today blesses you! Ahmen

Monday, September 14, 2009

Where Does My Help Come From?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. (Psalm 121). I have been thinking a lot about this Scripture this week. God is my perfect source of help: He is always there, he never gets tired of me talking to Him, He is never too busy for me, He forgives my sins, and loves me perfectly. Each and every one of us needs divine help!

What about help here on earth from our fellow men and women? Who do we depend on for encouragement and support in our earthly journey? When I first moved to this area about eight years ago, I was really dreading forming an entire new circle of friends. I especially missed our Sunday School class, which we had been a part of since we were newlyweds. Our Commitments Class was awesome! We learned together on Sundays, we had dinners together, we babysat each other's kids, we socialized, we picnicked, we lifted each other up in prayer, and encouraged each other to live our lives in a Christ-like manner. How was I ever going to find something like that again? I was a bit distressed, to be truthful. In the end, it took WAY longer than I wanted it to, and it didn't look exactly like it did before; but over time, I developed close friendships with Godly women. Jumping into a new church and getting involved in Bible Studies and other ministries really helped to facilitate those new relationships that I am now so thankful for. I know God placed certain women in my life because he knew I needed that encouragement!!!

Today, I am praising God for the people he has put in my life for a reason. I strive to keep my eyes open for opportunities to be that encourager for someone else, like I needed eight years ago! How are you building a support system? How can you be a helper to someone in need?

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Sunday, September 13, 2009

How Much Do I Care...

...about my relationship with God?

This is a question that I have been wrestling with for a few days. I get the magazine "Relevant" and there was an article about how to deal with "dwindling faith". It was written to the post-college group of people: those who have been emersed in campus ministry and groups then struggle to have a relationship with Jesus outside of college.

The concluding question was, "How much do you care about your relationship with God?" The writer made the statement that no one can fuel us or light the fire in us if we don't honestly care about having an intimate relationship with Jesus.

I talked about this with the youth this morning in Sunday school. I posed the question, "Is our relationship with Jesus reliant upon 'church activities' or do we invest in that relationship on our own?" Truth be told, I find that if I am inspired by a sermon or the music is good or prayers strike a chord, then I am more apt to feel close to Jesus. I struggle to work on that relationship outside of church.

I am not saying that church/church activities are bad. By NO MEANS am I saying that. What I am saying is that we, as christians, too often allow that to BE our relationship with Jesus. We rarely dig into an intimate, one-on-one with Jesus. We judge our faith on feelings rather than a sincere investment of our time.

I am still wrestling with the question I posed at the beginning. I know that I care about my relationship with Jesus, I really do. But how much do I care about it? Am I willing to invest time into strengthening that relationship? Am I going to dive into the Word because I want to or because I have "homework" for a church activity? Do I care enough about my relationship with God to make time for him DAILY?

Friday, September 11, 2009


8 years ago...something terrible happened.
8 years ago...innocent people lost their lives.
8 years members were lost.
8 years ago...a country joined together.
8 years ago...God was present.
I remember the morning of September 11, 2001. I was a senior in High School. That particular morning we were taking a standardized test when the phone in the room rang. The teacher immediately turned on the TV to CNN and we began to watch the nightmare unfold.
I was nervous.
I was scared.
I was sad.
I prayed, and prayed, and prayed.
Like many of us, I didn't really know what this meant, but I knew it was awful. My older brother RJ was in college at the time and I remember just wanting him to be home. I wanted to be close to family. I was afraid of what the future held, for our country. Our church held a service that evening. I don't know what was said, or what we did...I just remember crying and praying. I wish I could say that a peace came over me and I knew things would be ok. However that is not the case, still to this day my stomach churns when I think about 9-11.
I'm still nervous.
I'm still scared.
I'm still sad.
I still pray.
Today we will remember that day because 8 years ago our lives all changed. And just like that day, today - God is with us. He wept with us on September 11th, He hears our prayers, He is still our strength.
God is my strength and power, And He makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33
God, I still don't understand. I know there are many who are just like me. But even in my confusion, thank you for knowing how even this will bring glory to your name. I ask that especially today you are close with the families that lost someone on 9-11. I pray for the Middle East and ask that you would make yourself known there. I praise you and thank you for all the service men and women who remember everyday what they are fighting for. We cherish our freedom in this great country but even more today I cherish my freedom in you. I am reminded on this day that no matter what the future holds, it's in your hands. Reveal yourself to us. God Bless America, Amen

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Get down to go UP!

Hello!  I'm back from a WONDERFUL time in Texas.  God is so good and He gave me such a peace while I was gone. It may not have come before hand but it was a very very good trip  I had so much fun but was very glad to be home with my family!

It's amazing how God works!  Yesterday Kristi talked about just "being" with God.  She was sick and didn't get to go to our Bible Study but that fit perfectly with what we are being asked to do for the duration of the study.    I know some of you aren't doing this study, and while we wish you could do it with us, that's ok!  I just wanted to share a neat idea with you and tag on to Kristi's post.

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time"   I Peter 5:6   

Our challenge for the next weeks is to do just what this verse calls us to.  To get on our face before God.  Literally.  Each day, before we do our study, our quiet time with God, devotions, or even right when we wake up, we need to humble ourselves.  This isn't saying anything other than "you are God, I am not.  You are holy and mighty and I give you praise Lord".     If you can't physically get down on the floor, try laying your head on the table or on the arm of a chair.  The point is to physically humble ourselves to our great and powerful God.  The point is to lower ourselves so we can be raised up, lifted up closer to Him!

I've never done this.  Well, I should say I've never done this consistently.  I may have done this one time or another. I will raise my hands in praise but I've never gotten down on my face before God on a regular basis.  But I'm going to.  I am so ready for a deeper level with my Creator.  I NEED that.  So I'm going to do this.  And I am believing that God will honor this act of humility and reverance and open my eyes to more of his glory.

What about you?  Even if you're not in the study, are you willing to take some time every day and get down before the Lord?  It doesn't have to be in the morning, or for a specified time.  If you can't physically get down, try something else with the same frame of mind.  

If you do decide to do this with us, please share with us what the Lord reveals to you through this process.  OR if you have done this before, share what that meant to you.  We'd love to go through this together!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Be Still

Hello friends! I hope you all are doing better than I am. I have been in bed for the last three days with a sinus infection/flu and am crawling out today to go to the doctor. I don't have time to be sick!!! So much to do this week and I don't want to miss out!

First of all, our fall bible study is starting tonight and I am so looking forward to beginning a new study with Beth Moore. She just sparks excitement in me about learning God's word. But I will be staying home and resting. Also, tomorrow is the first Parent Teacher Family meeting at Alex's school. I am really ready to jump in and help out at school. Also, I am going to be in MOPS this year and our first meeting is Thursday. I REALLY hope I can make it. I have a hard time resting, even when I am sick. But there is a time for rest- not taking action and just resting. Resting our minds and resting our bodies. I think God wants me to take this opportunity to slow down, regroup, and refocus my priorities. It is hard to hear God when I am too busy with activities. I know he wants me to stop, pray, and listen to what he is saying through His word and through the Holy Spirit.

I will practice being STILL, both mind and body. Will you do this with me? Take a few minutes each day to be utterly still and open your mind to what God has to say. Let me know how it goes! I will let you know how it goes for me!!!

"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling." Zechariah 2:13

Sunday, September 6, 2009

A Good Way to Spend Sunday

I'm a church-going nerd. I love to get up on Sunday morning, go teach Sunday school, chat with everyone I see as I walk through the building, sing praises with all my heart and lungs, listen to sermons, and just BE at church. If you know me, this has come as no shocker to you.

However, today was a good way to spend my Kruse Auction Park in Auburn, IN with my dad. I am a daddy's girl 100% and have never denied this in over 29 years. He called Thursday night, "Hey, do you wanna go to Auburn with me Sunday? You will have to miss church." I didn't even hesitate to say yes. And I said yes for several reasons:

1. I am a closet classic car lover (especiall 64.5-66 Mustangs and 66-71 Corvettes).
2. I would get to spend the day with my dad.
3. It is an extended weekend.

But the reason that really pushed me was what dad said...."You will have to miss church." For those of you that don't know, my dad is in no way a believer or follower of Jesus. He really would rather have nothing to do with Jesus outside of the fact that his daughter (me) is totally in love with Jesus. And I thought to myself, What a statement it will be to dad to "skip" church to spend Sunday with him when he knows how much church means to me.

We didn't have any deep theological discussions. We were in the Car Coral looking at old muscles cars during the opening prayer at Kruse and I gave a quiet "amen" when it was done. We talked and laughed and dreamed. We listened to the quiet rumble of Porche engines and were enamored at the restoration jobs on cars that are close to 100 years old.

What a statement to my dad! In his eyes I gave up something super important, church, to spend the day with him. Yes I missed being at church, but today was a good way to spend Sunday. It was good to spend time with my dad whom I love SO much. It was good to know that God smiled at a father and daughter spending time together on His day. It was the best way I could share my faith with my dad.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Tell me more!

Ladies!  I'm off in the morning for a long weekend of fun and food with some girlfriends in Dallas.  I'm so thankful for this chance to get away, thankful that my husband is more than willing and capable to stay with G.,  and that I have this opportunity.  

So in the midst of all this thankfulness this afternoon I could feel this .... I don't know... weight? settle on me.  I literally could feel it.  It was not a good feeling.  It happened after a lunch meeting and came on like a flood of water.  I thought it was because I was running late.  I thought it was because I had a list of things to do that wasn't shrinking.  I thought it was because I needed to finish packing. I thought I was just being crazy, and over stressing about all I need to do in the next few weeks.  But my husband called it during dinner when the tears where threatening to overtake me... I'm going to miss my baby.  I'm going to miss my family.

Talking it over helped considerably.  I think that calling it for what it is released some of that weight.  I also think that it's something that I just have to go through.   Some of you may be laughing at me already. :)  I know I'm going to have a great time on this trip.  I will.  These feelings have just surprised me a bit.  I know I'll have fun, but I'm not looking forward to leaving.  

I talked to a girlfriend tonight and she shared that she felt the same way often when first leaving her kids.  She said that she would have all kind of irrational fears when leaving her family. And she gave me some great advice.  She said that we (I) need to rest in the fact that God knows our days.  He has numbered them.  I can take comfort in knowing that he's ordained my life already and when ever the day comes I'll be in heaven praising his name!  So I'm going to live this day thanking God for his MANY blessings and knowing that He is in absolute control.

"I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears" Psalm 34:4

So friends, I'm feeling SO much better about this trip.  The weight is not gone but it's so much better.  I know I'll be missing my sweet baby and hubby, but I'm going to praise Jesus for each day I have and for chance to get away and be with my gals.  I'd love to hear from you.  Tell me what gives you peace when you get that "weight" on your chest. (your weights may be caused by things other than leaving home!)  

Have a great holiday weekend!