So in the midst of all this thankfulness this afternoon I could feel this .... I don't know... weight? settle on me. I literally could feel it. It was not a good feeling. It happened after a lunch meeting and came on like a flood of water. I thought it was because I was running late. I thought it was because I had a list of things to do that wasn't shrinking. I thought it was because I needed to finish packing. I thought I was just being crazy, and over stressing about all I need to do in the next few weeks. But my husband called it during dinner when the tears where threatening to overtake me... I'm going to miss my baby. I'm going to miss my family.
Talking it over helped considerably. I think that calling it for what it is released some of that weight. I also think that it's something that I just have to go through. Some of you may be laughing at me already. :) I know I'm going to have a great time on this trip. I will. These feelings have just surprised me a bit. I know I'll have fun, but I'm not looking forward to leaving.
I talked to a girlfriend tonight and she shared that she felt the same way often when first leaving her kids. She said that she would have all kind of irrational fears when leaving her family. And she gave me some great advice. She said that we (I) need to rest in the fact that God knows our days. He has numbered them. I can take comfort in knowing that he's ordained my life already and when ever the day comes I'll be in heaven praising his name! So I'm going to live this day thanking God for his MANY blessings and knowing that He is in absolute control.
"I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears" Psalm 34:4
So friends, I'm feeling SO much better about this trip. The weight is not gone but it's so much better. I know I'll be missing my sweet baby and hubby, but I'm going to praise Jesus for each day I have and for chance to get away and be with my gals. I'd love to hear from you. Tell me what gives you peace when you get that "weight" on your chest. (your weights may be caused by things other than leaving home!)
Have a great holiday weekend!