When I was pregnant with Grace, Shane and I decided that I would stay home to be with her. My thought? Perfect, just what I've always wanted. I love being home with her. I love spending my days playing blocks, reading books, and even doing potty runs (ok, that's not my favorite part, but it comes with the territory). Of course there is also the dirty toilets, laundry and a gazillion messes to clean up each day that goes along with the job description too- I'll still take it I said. But I also realized that I am happy being busy. I like to have plans and projects. So I started adding things. There was the usual play dates, plans with friends, outings... etc. I also added some church commitments which have been wonderful and such a blessing. Then a part time job and then... maybe you get the picture? I also am a wife and have a house to keep at least semi clean- you know.... find your way to the bathroom, stuff like that. :) All of this is good and fine, but here's my deal. I deal with the insecurity of wanting to make everyone happy and not to disappoint so I have the tendancy to say yes, when I should just say no.... All of the things I do are great in and of themselves but when I don't say no to something I end up either doing something else halfway or I miss something like... time at home, or time to recoup.... It's not anyones fault but my own.
Colossians 3:23 says "Whatever you do what at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord, not for men." This verse has taken on a different meaning for me in the last few weeks. It is on an index card on our fridge and I have often referred to it in the fact that we won't always get the reward we want for the work we do here on Earth, but now I'm thinking of it differently. If I was to tell God that I'd take on a job for him, or I agreed to do something... I would want to do my absolute best and nothing but that for Him. I most certainly would not want to give him half my best because I am overcommitted or too tired or trying to squeeze to much in.
We are in a season of our lives where we are so busy. Fortunately we feel that God has opened doors for us in many different areas so we know we are following His will but that doesn't solve the worn out, just plain tired, feelings we still have and also the fact that some things in our lives then have to be put on the back burner in order to get other things done! I do believe it's a season for us though.
When I said a few weeks ago that I need to "choose JOY" every day I was so right. I have to but I also realized that I have to do more than that, I have to pray - get right down on my knees- and ask God to give me that joy, to give me the strength to keep going, and also to give me perseverance because if we go back to the beginning, we are doing it all for Him anyway.
It's easy to get caught up in "being busy" even if it is for noble, worthy, even Christ like things. I've had a few rough awakenings lately where I have seen how I am caught up in that busyness and as a result not serving him in the way I should. Are the things I 'm doing worth it? Absolutely! Do I like to be busy? Yes. But my eyes have turned away from my focus a bit and I'm working so hard now on getting back on track and to remember that I'm working for HIM. Even if that means dirty diapers, toilets, teaching, or running errands. It's all for Him.
I know some of you stuck with me and have read down to the end.. :) I'm praying the same thing for you. That if you are caught up in the busyness of life you'll stop a second and focus back on Christ and see how your priorities shift.
Love you ladies!