Balancing on a Tightrope

I have never been a big fan of the circus. I guess it is the whole clown thing and the weird contortionists and people who take enormous, crazy risks--like walking in amongst lions! Yikes! It is just not me. But today, I can actually relate to the tightrope walker---balancing ever so carefully, carrying the weight of the world (or a few humans) on your shoulders, trying not to lean one way or the other, because if you get too much on one side, SPLAT!! You're a goner! Can you relate?

This week we started a new book in Sunday school on living a balanced life. Are you laughing yet??? Can you actually imagine what a balanced life might look like?? When our pastor asked my husband what in his life is balanced, my husband retorted, "My tires." Yes, that is his sense of humor. Anyway, I think all people,no matter what age or stage, sometimes (or maybe a lot of the times) feel like they are tightrope walkers, ready to tip over at any minute. What exactly is balance when it comes to living a Christ-centered life?


For a long time, my life was out of balance. When I got "reacquainted" with God, it became glaringly clear how it was out of balance. For me, it meant giving up some things to make room for other things that needed priority. Here is one example: For a long time, I tried to fit quiet Bible study/prayer time into my schedule: in the morning, (nope, didn't work-kids get up too early), a few minutes in the afternoon (not happening either with a preschooler who doesn't nap), or after the kids go to bed (this works, but what about my shows?) Okay, something has to give. Guess what it was? The shows. I basically had to give up most of my t.v. time except for a few shows that I love. Man, that was a tough time. Being obedient is NOT easy. But now that I have formed a habit of it, it comes a lot easier. My pastor made a great point during Sunday school. He said so often we try to fit time with God into our schedule, when in reality, we should build our schedule around our time with God. Makes total sense, but is so hard to accomplish in our crazy lives.


But what if God calls us to live an unbalanced life? Hmmmmm. What if he calls us away from our families to serve in the mission field? What if he calls us to pour our time and passion into a ministry that means we have little time for friends? What if He calls us to move to a different part of the country so our spouse can pursue his work? What if? Is living a life full of Christ balanced at all? Should it be so full of Him that there is little left for me? Totally unbalanced.


These are questions I have......... What do you think?


No matter what, though, I believe that God is holding my hand as I walk this tightrope. If I pursue Him and seek Him, He will guide me to a balanced life, or maybe an unbalanced life. Trusting and obeying, hoping, balancing..........He will be there if I fall off, to catch me and hoist me back up on the right path. If I will only reach out and grasp His hand, and not let go.....

If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Psalm 37:23,24

A Time for Everything

You know the chapter in Ecclesiastes where it talks about a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3)? You know the song about there being a time for everything (by The Byrds)?

Anywho.....I can't stand when people give me this reason, "Dina, there is a time for everything and God's timing is that perfect timing." I mean, I know it's true, but I can't stand it! Sometimes I just want to be mad or sad or angry or frustrated or question (and not get an answer) or vent. Maybe that's just me, but that's who I am. Sure there are times that I need the reminder that "there is a time for everything" and God obviously thought this weekend was a time to remind me of his timing.

I have an acquaintance/friend that I have felt very bitter and angry toward for a while. We had started to become rather good friends last summer. Chatting on the phone or texting on occassion. It was fun - it's always fun to make a new friend. Well, she went through some stuff in her life. Lots of things were assumed by myself and others. She made some decisions that I did not see eye-to-eye on. Then, I started distancing myself.........slowly. I just sort or moved past it all. Or so I though until this weekend.

The Lord has been working on me lately to be open to HIM and where HE is leading in HIS timing, not something I do well at all. He chose Sunday morning to smack me right upside the head - HARD with harboring things. Specifically unforgiveness. PD challenged us with his sermon "Yes or No?" His question was about our attitude when someone new comes into the church. I started thinking: How would I respond if this acquaintance/friend walked into church? Would I welcome her into this place that can provide counsel and healing? Would I make her feel welcome? Would I sneak around and try not to be seen by her? Would I tell people all the things I've heard about her?

I'd love to say that I would accept her just as she is, however that may be. Truth be told, I don't know if I could do that. There is a time for everything and I feel like God is directing my heart into some forgiveness, confession, and restoration. I haven't talked to her for a while. I haven't spoken of all that I know. I haven't been Christ-like in my attitude about her. But, there is a time for everything including forgiveness, confession, and restoration.

I don't know what I would say. I don't know how I would say it. I don't know when I will say it. BUT I know that if my heart is real then God will guide me. He will pave a way because it will be in his timing and there is a time for everything.

Jesus, my heart is burdened. I'm stubborn and sometimes a royal pain. I fight you and argue and try to ignore. And then, I surrender. I'm not to that point but I know it is coming soon. Prepare me, knock me down, and speak to my heart. Take the grip that satan is trying to get on me and continue to loosen it. You are so powerful and I know that you have a time for things....help me to see the doors you open WHEN you open them.

His Mercy Still Covers Me

This is a struggle for me to write about, because for pretty much the first 23 years of my life, I attended the same church. I accepted Christ there, spent time growing up in Christ there, then I taught about His love there, and worked my first real adult job there. I grew in those 23 years to see it as my Home Church. Even when I moved away for college, I considered it "MY CHURCH". I attended a different church in college but never got the bond that I had to my church at home.

It's been about 6 months since I regularly attended at this church. The longest in my life. I am having a hard time attending there for many reasons. But due to the hardships there, my heart remains broken. I would have thought that after this amount of time, I would be able to go back....but the hurt remains.

I guess when we are looking for blessings and healing...we expect God to work on our time.

As a person that lives for lists, organizations and day planners this is a frustrating part of faith for me. It doesn't matter how many times He reminds me that it's not my plan but His...I still don't get it!

I am not really sure what the point of this is...I guess God is making me start to talk about something that I have been keeping pretty much inside for a while.
I am looking for the faith lesson that I am supposed to be learning in this time.
I am having a hard time completing disciplined tasks that used to be second nature.
I have a poor attitude towards a lot of the individuals that I used to be so close with.
I don't see God weekly on Sunday morning because I am broken and distant.
I don't have a ministry that I poor my heart and soul into.
I miss my kids at church.
It changes my attitude throughout the week.
It changes the witness that I could have Monday - Saturday.
It makes me feel guilt, in turn causing more hurt.

So I know I am not the only person suffering from a disagreement on timing issue with Christ. I also know in my hard hurt heart that Jesus us bigger than all of this. And I know that when He died on the cross He knew what this struggle would feel like for me, He lost His ministry too but instead of a loss at all, He tranformed it into something even greater...Salvation. I am thankful that in my confusion, I still know His Salvation. His Mercy Still Covers Me.

God,
Thanks for never changing. Thanks for sending Christ to experience this world and to offer your sweet sweet salvation. You know my specific struggles, could you transform them into something big and great, that will bring glory to your name. I long to bless your name. Amen

Three Posts in One!

I know I'm really late to post anything - I started this and then my computer went on the fritz, sorry.

My husband and I were talking about my post for this week. I usually bounce my ideas off of him before I post and he said he thought I'd write about our anniversary which I had not even thought about. Then after I did give it some thought, I realized he was part of that idea in a different way too because he asked me to marry him some 32 years ago. He teases sometimes that I asked him which I did not.

Mike and I met in college and from the very start we were good friends which they say you should marry your best friend, don't they! But I guess soon after we started dating seriously, we both must have known that we were made for each other. We had similar upbringings in the church, both loved children (we both majored in elementary education), and seemed to have the same ideas on the importance of family and many things. It's kinda funnie to write all this, I guess I believe we can truly say that God brought us together. I know it says in Jeremiah (29.11) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Because of our shared Faith, I believe God was working in our lives BUT sometimes we didn't even recognize Him. He was watching over us and our family and all the decisions we made!! And has continued to all these years!!


We've had our struggles like every family but in looking back there has been much more positive. I praise God for the ways he has prospered and blessed my family. I think I am much more aware of it now maybe because I'm older, maybe because I know more now that God does have a plan for us, for everything we do and will help us to follow that plan. I'm ashamed for the ways and times that I wasn't following God's plan for my life. What a loving God we serve that will forgive us when we aren't and will call us back and wait with open arms until we come back to HIM. HALLELUYAH!!!!!


Next, I wanted to comment on all the wonderful people that made themselves available to work on the Fish Fry and then just this last Weds for the Day of Caring. (maybe you were one of these people!!) These are two things that our church has been involved with for many years connected to the missions committee. Two separate things but still for this post, the same. We had the fish fry to raise money for the mission workteams; The Day of Caring is thru the United Way and Housing Opportunities of Warsaw. It is sooooo AWESOME to see how God's people will come together to serve. We served 589 people at the fish fry and two separate families for the Day of Caring. There were so many that came out to work and I praise God for all of these people!


In closing, the Ladies Mission Workteam is preparing to go on their next trip in just a few weeks. We leave on September 13th thru September 19th. Our theme this year is 'We Are All Members of God's Team'! For our last meeting, we had a visit from a gal that calls herself 'Princess Purple'. She speaks to groups, usually women, about their royal heritage - that we are all princesses because we are daughters of the King of Kings!! She is a great encourager and she came to prepare us for our trip. She is so kooky and not afraid to share about God's love and the ways He works in this world. She talked to us about being on God's team dressed as a cheerleader in, yes, you guessed it, all purple. She reminded us that we needed to always be checking in God's 'planbook', the Bible. Most of all, she just shared her excitement in JESUS which she wanted us to be able to share with those we serve on our trip and all we come in contact with even in our lives!! So take these words from Princess Purple that you are a member of God's team and always 'look up'.

Dear God, I praise you for all the ways you work in our lives. I thank you for the plan you have for me and for others. I thank you for all the great people that join me on this team of yours. I thank you that you have the game plan all written out for us in the Bible and I pray that you will put it on our hearts to be reading that 'planbook'. All this for your Glory!! Amen.

A Post...

It's coming I promise. Probably tomorrow, no definitely tomorrow! I look forward to listening to what God would have me to share...stay posted! (HAHA, pun totally intended!)

33- The Jesus Year

Today I'm 33 years old.  My husband tells me that it's "the Jesus year"  He finished his earthly ministry at the age of 33.  While I'm not planning on leaving this earth at the end of this year, I do pray that God will use me in great ways and that it will bring praise to Him, like His son did.

I have spent some time this past week thinking about past birthdays.  I have had some great ones.  I've thought of a lot but I'll share just a few.

• My sixteenth birthday-  My parents gave me a party with a friend whose birthday was 3 days before mine.  We had all our friends over, and a great cake... it was the best (plus I got my driver's license!)
• My 23rd birthday- We had just moved to Haiti.  I was adjusting to the heat (and don't even think it was nothing but H.O.T in August), to living at an orphanage with 65 kids, having no phone, tv, internet access, or even electricity.  I just found an old journal from that time and I wrote about that day...  I was so thankful for my friend Charity, who spent the year with me.  I wrote that I got some special birthday presents- lettuce, real milk, brownies, and carmel apple suckers.  (all definitely treats that year!)  
• My 29th birthday.  I was living by myself in Huntington, starting my fourth year working for the University.  I remember calling a girl friend and telling her that I had never ever pictured that I would be single at the age of 29 and with no boyfriend in sight.  I told her that I was going to have a great year and live my life to the fullest but if I was still single on my 30th birthday I was going to take the day off, cry all day, be sad, then move on.  :)

Fast forward to my 30th.... I took this great guy home to meet my family and friends for the first time, knowing that I was going to marry him.  God is so good.  He sees our future and knows that His plans are in order and that they are going to be fabulous. I had great days being single and hard days being single...  but I am so, so thankful for that time of growth, stretching, and adventure.  Although I would have said that I needed someone in my life much sooner, God knew I needed to learn to depend on Him, and to have confidence in myself and who I am in Christ.    I'm so, so glad I waited for His best in my life.  So glad.

Ps. 27:14 Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.

And today- my 33rd birthday- I spent the day with my husband, I laughed a lot, ate great food, then came home to kisses from my daughter.  Each birthday completely different but each so very important in my life. - Thank you Lord for knowing what we need and when!  Thank you for your presence in our lives that holds us up no matter what the situation.  Thank you!

Rejoice in His Blessings

Hello fellow bloggers and blog followers! How are you? I had a lot of ideas for my post this week--most of them were pretty heavy topics. So after much contemplation and a few false starts, I decided that I needed to just write a post of rejoicing. So here it goes, my list of rejoices as of today:

1. That God loves me right where I am--imperfect, grouchy with PMS, over scheduled at times, but still lovable to God.

2. That His perfect love found a way for me to be with Him-- His name is Jesus. And HIS Grace IS enough for me.

3. I am rejoicing that I am healthy. I had a little scare over the last few weeks, but all is fine! I am thankful that He still has work for me to do here on this earth and I am tackling that work head on!!

4. I rejoice in my family: My loving, funny, dependable -as -the -sun rising husband who is my best friend, my energetic and inquisitive son who still loves to snuggle, and my loquacious, sweet as pie little girl that is a spitten image of her Daddy.

5. I rejoice that my son accepted Christ as His savior on his 8th birthday!!! Hallelujah!

6. My friends..... God has blessed me with some amazing friendships. Some close by and some far away. Each special to me.

7. I rejoice in my church family and in my little town on the lake. Both blessings.

8. I am blessed with a loving extended family-- sisters, nieces, nephews, grandmothers, cousins, and of course, my parents! My in-laws are such a blessing as well. They live 5 minutes from us and are totally involved in our kids' lives.

And of course, I have to add a few funny ones to the end of my "oh so serious" list of rejoices for today.

9. That there is a Dunkin Donuts on the way to the closest large city! All I can say folks is "Bavarian Creme, please!"

10. My daughter chose Care Bears as the theme of her upcoming birthday party instead of a "Tom and Jerry party where we watch cartoons, not play games". Thank you Lord!

There are so many more things in my life that deserve mention of a "rejoice". In my prayer time, I am really trying to praise God first for all of the blessings, and not focus so much on the "These things are not going as planned, Lord!"

One of my favorite verses I have committed to memory... I hope it blesses you today as much as it has blessed me over the last few years!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!!! Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:4,6,7