You know the chapter in Ecclesiastes where it talks about a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3)? You know the song about there being a time for everything (by The Byrds)?
Anywho.....I can't stand when people give me this reason, "Dina, there is a time for everything and God's timing is that perfect timing." I mean, I know it's true, but I can't stand it! Sometimes I just want to be mad or sad or angry or frustrated or question (and not get an answer) or vent. Maybe that's just me, but that's who I am. Sure there are times that I need the reminder that "there is a time for everything" and God obviously thought this weekend was a time to remind me of his timing.
I have an acquaintance/friend that I have felt very bitter and angry toward for a while. We had started to become rather good friends last summer. Chatting on the phone or texting on occassion. It was fun - it's always fun to make a new friend. Well, she went through some stuff in her life. Lots of things were assumed by myself and others. She made some decisions that I did not see eye-to-eye on. Then, I started distancing myself.........slowly. I just sort or moved past it all. Or so I though until this weekend.
The Lord has been working on me lately to be open to HIM and where HE is leading in HIS timing, not something I do well at all. He chose Sunday morning to smack me right upside the head - HARD with harboring things. Specifically unforgiveness. PD challenged us with his sermon "Yes or No?" His question was about our attitude when someone new comes into the church. I started thinking: How would I respond if this acquaintance/friend walked into church? Would I welcome her into this place that can provide counsel and healing? Would I make her feel welcome? Would I sneak around and try not to be seen by her? Would I tell people all the things I've heard about her?
I'd love to say that I would accept her just as she is, however that may be. Truth be told, I don't know if I could do that. There is a time for everything and I feel like God is directing my heart into some forgiveness, confession, and restoration. I haven't talked to her for a while. I haven't spoken of all that I know. I haven't been Christ-like in my attitude about her. But, there is a time for everything including forgiveness, confession, and restoration.
I don't know what I would say. I don't know how I would say it. I don't know when I will say it. BUT I know that if my heart is real then God will guide me. He will pave a way because it will be in his timing and there is a time for everything.
Jesus, my heart is burdened. I'm stubborn and sometimes a royal pain. I fight you and argue and try to ignore. And then, I surrender. I'm not to that point but I know it is coming soon. Prepare me, knock me down, and speak to my heart. Take the grip that satan is trying to get on me and continue to loosen it. You are so powerful and I know that you have a time for things....help me to see the doors you open WHEN you open them.