Sunday, March 14, 2010

Me, Insecure?

Oh yes! I am incredibly insecure and I am incredibly good at hiding it. Just an fyi, I am in no way proud of how well I hide my insecurity.

Needless to say I did open this book and I did ready an intro plus 4 chapters in one week and I did start to breathe a little. I am not so naive to think that I am the only person who deals with insecurity and hides it well and allows it to sneak its way into my life as a root slowly taking hold of the soil of my heart. To be completely honest (this is how I work best....being completely honest) my closest friends know this about me. And God has blessed me with amazing friends and speaks encouragement through them.

But, I'm learning that I rely on this too much. I rely too much on the affirmation of people. I rely too much on encouragement from the mouths of those who are equally insecure. I rely too much on pity and words from mere humans. And I don't rely on God and all that He has to offer me.

For those of you who have never done a study with Beth Moore, you are missing out. For those of you that have, you know and probably love her honesty and her heart. God has truly blessed this woman in ministry with other women. She tells it like it is. She backs her words with scripture. She is constantly taking us into the truths of the Word of God. For this, I am grateful.

The biggest truth I have encountered so far is this: "When we allow God's truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we'll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us." (psalm 90:17) I am not to look into a mirror and see me and loath what I see. I am to look into that mirror and see what God sees. His child. His creation. His beloved. His precious masterpiece.

Honestly I struggle with this. But, God is slowly peeling back the foggy layers from my eyes and revealing a beautiful woman. A woman who longs for her Jesus. A woman who is not perfect. A woman who has been made clean. A woman that He created in His image.

Yeah. So long insecurity.

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