Sunday, March 7, 2010

Stubborn

So, I am stubborn. The cat is out of the bag. I am set in my ways. I like to be in charge, know what's going on, and appear like all is well. And I don't like for things to be stirred up to let anyone think or know anything different.

Well all is not well. The reality of living on this earth is knowing that this is not my home. The day I decided to follow Jesus was the day my eyes were opened to reality. It was also the first time that I truly was opened to sin and forgiveness.

If you read this blog you know that we are starting the book So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. Honestly, I haven't started because I am scared to death that all my insecurities will surface and I am stubborn and don't want to face them. I attempted to read this book 4 times over the week. Each time I would pray for strength, open the book, and close it super quick.

This is me being stubborn. This is me clearly ignoring work that God wants to do and needs to do in my heart. This is me trying to be in control so that others cannot see the real Dina.

This is me.

So, I am going to open this book tonight and make myself read it. I am going to open myself to the work that God clearly has in mind. I am going to open my heart to being healed and dealing with one thing at a time. I am going to trust that God has my best in store.

With that I say, "So long insecurity!"

2 comments:

  1. Dina! What a perfect start to our study. You are so right and I don't think you are alone in being stubborn (she even says that we'll want to close the book at times!) This is definitely not a book that is a quick read. Praying for you my friend as you start this journey of kicking insecurity to the curb. :)

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  2. Thanks for keeping it real, Dina. I love your honesty. I am so glad you are on this journey with me!:)

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