Good morning! It seems wierd to be saying that because I started typing this later in the evening but the reason I say good morning to you all is because I feel like I have awakened from an uneasy dream. One that in some ways doesn't seem real but you know you were in the middle of it and it had you somewhat uncomfortable.
Well, not to worry, I'm awake now and have seen the 'Joy of the morning'!!! I felt like God finally got thru to my questioning, hurting heart. I've also been taking the Beth Moore Stepping Up bible study at our church along with many of you. She said at the beginning that 'our God is a God of perfect timing'. I believe that! It has been just what I've needed. It has made me to see that I was allowing something to influence my faith song. I was allowing something to squelch my joy and passion. I realized especially after the last three weeks of the Stepping Up bible study that in a way 'the evil one' was winning or at least, gaining ground. I've wised up and realized that I was not handling myself as God expects when we say we are His. I was allowing some past hurts to influence my whole life, my attitude, and my reactions to some people. I was in some situations, not allowing God to pour His Perfect Love into my imperfect heart and love others thru me. So I'm working on that again but this time feel like I understand more what God can and will do thru me if I allow Him and it will be all good!!
The Steppin Up bible study came at just the right time and last week-end I got to put into practice what I learned with a few members of my extended family. I still struggled but kept telling God my complaints, didn't let things effect my usual mood and felt better. I tried to see them differently, to see them as God might see them, and to tell God he had to help me to love them, unconditionally. It helped. Praise God!!
Dear God, I thank you for the love you have for me and the love that you will help me to have for those I have difficulty loving. Help me to know how you want me to love those around me and to have a better attitude for everyone I meet. Help me to see all people as you see them. I know we are all sinners and need you! I praise you for loving me even when I am the most unlovely. I ask all this in your name, AMEN.
P.S. I'm a little sad because you all will be going to see Beth Moore in May in person, no less!! She truly has a heart for women and guiding us all in bible study so we will be closer to God. I have a super reason to miss tho,it is Alexis and Andy's wedding weekend so we will be busy and I'm sure having a great time ourselves, even in a way praising God for their new life together. If Beth asks about us, you tell her we're sorry we couldn't come this time.